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ARE YOU NEGOTIATING YOUR BOUNDARIES??

Posted on April 22, 2017 at 4:25 PM

ARE YOU NEGOTIATING YOUR BOUNDARIES??

Boundaries are a measure of self-esteem. They set the limits for acceptable behavior from those around you, determining whether they feel able to put you down, make fun, or take advantage of your good nature.

The ‘Five Things’ Method

▪ List five things you’d like people to stop doing around you, for example, criticizing absent colleagues

▪ List five things you want people to stop doing to you, for example, being rude or inconsiderate, or ignoring you

▪ List five things that people may no longer say to you, for example, “you always give up” or “you’ll never get promoted”

Think about your current boundaries and ask:

▪ How much attention people expect from you at a moment’s notice

▪ Whether you always make yourself available (e.g. do you answer the phone no matter what’s going on?)

▪ How much praise and acceptance you receive?

▪ Why are you popular with your friends?

▪ How do you feel after spending time with each friend or family member?

Redefining your boundaries may mean swapping the belief “I want to please others” to “I value my time and want to keep some for myself.”

Once you have established strong, clear boundaries, people will give you more respect. This means you can be yourself to a greater extent, asking for what you really want and need without fear of judgment. Emotional manipulators will back off and in their place sustainable, loving relationships will thrive.

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Razan

Categories: Self Awareness