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Posted on April 22, 2017 at 4:25 PM


Wrong assumptions can separate just about any two individuals.

An assumption can seem to grow out of nothing.

Ever think about that water cooler talk? We see people talking at the office water cooler, and our brain automatically starts creating a story about what we assume is being discussed. Our self-talk, or inner dialogue, starts going ….and usually in a negative direction.

We assume that people have a specific motivation for their actions or that an event took place for a specific reason, and then we start to see these possibly incorrect assumptions as the truth.

Instead of basing our understanding of people and events on what we observe and what we know for a fact, we often prefer to make judgments based on our emotions, beliefs, expectations and wishes.

We too easily confuse these psychological mechanisms with reality, and the assumptions that spring from them become the basis of our own version of “reality,” even though it’s not actually real.

We don’t recognize just how much our inner world is coloring the way we see and understand our outer world, and how it distorts things for us. When making assumptions becomes a habit, we are less and less grounded in reality and more and more prone to creating problems for ourselves and others.

So, how do we stop making so many assumptions and start basing our understanding of people and the world on more tangible facts? We simply pause as we’re jumping to our conclusions and ask ourselves, “How do I know this?”

Ask yourself:

1.What am I noticing?

2.What am I what am I thinking?

3.What am I feeling?

4.How much of this is actually true?


Categories: Relationships